Question:

Théun and Elizabeth,

If there is enough interest for a World of the Little People course, then I would love to attend.

I must admit when I read that there was such a course, I assumed that only I and a handful of others could possibly be interested (those who have young children).

Answer:

I can truly recommend the World of Little People to ALL of you, for as I explained at the time when I recommended this course, you should not assume that just because people are in adult bodies that they are necessarily adult. MOST people only ever really grow up when they are already way into their thirties! And some people, sadly, never grow up.

There is something extremely sad about seeing a 50 or 60-year old man or woman that is still childish in every possible way, and yet there are more of them in the world than what you would perhaps believe right now.

But then there are also those that are the opposite side of the coin, and what is interesting to me, is that MOST of these exceptions today are very young people. I can clearly see that there are today MANY Old Souls coming into incarnation, and considering where the world is at, this is not surprising, but on the contrary, very heart warming. :)

Elizabeth and I have this expression which we use in describing people to each other, and it goes something like this: "I met So-and-So last week, and he is, I would say, 35-ish going on for 6." OR, "I met So-and-So yesterday, and she is, I would say, 25-ish going on for 45." :) I think you catch the drift of where we are coming from?

We are in these discussions comparing the physical age of the person concerned with his/her emotional and mental maturity so as to get a better understanding of the person concerned.

So, yes, the World of Little People is a course which is VERY suited to ALL age-groups, and most especially as you also get to understand your own childhood that much better.

But also, if I am going to be honest, then I must also say that of all the courses I wrote, the World of Little People was the one I most enjoyed writing. For all of my teasing and joking about "them wee beasties straight out of hell," , I am actually VERY fond of children, and it often makes me incredibly sad when I see how parents struggle to relate to their children and vice versa.

It is amazing how quickly people tend to forget what it was like to be a new-born baby that cannot yet gain control of its physical body, much less make sense of speech; what it was like to be 2 years old, or six years old; the feelings of desolation and of having been abandoned on that first fatalistic day at that alien something called school; the worries and the fears of teenage years, the constant stress of peer pressure, not yet quite knowing what is "right" and what is "wrong," but also not wanting to lose our friends; and then finally trying our best to fit into an adult world for which we feel so ill equipped and so very ill prepared.

So the World of Little People is an expression of my love for, my understanding of, and my commitment to children of all ages, and from all over the world. :)

In this course I endeavour to show adults, whether they are parents or not, what it is to be a child, how children think and relate to the world around them through the various age groups, and to give them the tools with which to guide and help their children in becoming responsible citizens of the world.

Citizens that can make a difference, and citizens that can look the world squarely in the eyes and say, "Yes! I have value, and I have a role to play within this world, and THIS is how I am going to do it."

And above all, I show parents what a responsibility as well as what a HUGE privilege it is to be parents, for in being parents our biggest responsibility lies in the fact that whatever we INVEST in our children is an investment within Life itself and, IN-DEED, also an investment in the FUTURE of all of the human race.
And our privilege in being parents lies in the WONDER-FULL and sometimes truly HAIR-RAISING journey our children SHARE with us as they struggle to learn and to find their feet within the world around us.

And I say share because their world is NOT our world, for they come from a different generation than we do, and here I am NOT talking about generations as in physical age, but generations as in knowledge of self!

So our privilege lies in being able to share in a journey which we would not have been able to experience without our children. :)

Question:

I would like to ask for some guidance on the relationship I have with my children. As they now live with their mother ever since we became divorced I am finding it more and more difficult to relate to my children when they do come and stay with me. Somehow they don't even feel like my children, and yet I know that deep down inside I love them.

Answer:

Do you actually LIKE your children?

I know that somewhere deep down inside you DO love your children, or to be more precise, you FEEL that you ought to love them! But, right now, right here, do you even LIKE them, much less LOVE them?

I take this approach with you, my friend, for I can see that you feel guilty because you do not love your children like you feel you ought to. But loving our children is socially conditioned b.s., for as with ANY relationship it takes TIME and a great DEAL of blood, sweat and tears to BUILD that relationship!

Drop the socially conditioned b.s, drop the sense of guilt, and above all, drop the ROMANTICISING, and take a good, long and HARD look at how you TRULY feel about your children! Do you even WANT a relationship with them? If so, why? I ask you this, because unless you can answer such fundamental questions, we do not even know WHERE to start addressing your relationship with your children.

Do you still love your ex-wife? No, clearly not, otherwise you would NEVER have gotten divorced!

And so why should it be different between you and your kids? Or are you so arrogant as to believe that you fathered little angels with whom you had an INSTANT bond?

Am I being harsh? No! I don't think so! I am just being REAL! This is something I believe you do grasp quite well, even though you still swing violently between feeling highly pissed off AT your kids, and then almost immediately feeling terribly guilty for not being a good and loving parent!

Relevant Courses:

Relationships IV - The World of Little People

Relationships I - Relationships in General - or - This Darned Elusive Happiness

Relationships V - The Challenges of Puberty - Teenage Camp 1

Relationships VI - Hunting for Power - Teenage Camp 2